#I think I like the characters in Awakening better
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SUBLIMATE THE PAIN | SEVIKA X READER | ARCANE
Synopsis: Sevika helps you to explore yourself and subside the pain and the shame of self pleasure.
Contains: comfort, soft!sevika, unexperienced!reader, wlw, first sexual experiences, soft talk, masturbation, fingering.
A pretty personal fic, tbh, but Sevika as a character seems to be patient and loving when it comes to sex and I'm here to write about it. Enjoy!
Sevika had promised you patience and comfort, a woman with her vast sexual experience knew the unpleasant and uncomfortable details of love. She knew the burning and the pain, the disgust, the sorrow, the shame and the numbness, and for that reason she had promised to accompany you in the process with as much patience as necessary.
She kissed you again on the neck, a mirror stood before you sitting on the bed, Sevika's vast hand ran over your breasts and her grey eyes looked at you through the reflection, inviting you to stop ignoring the signs of your body. Her breasts brushed your back, her mechanical hand gently parted your legs and revealed the juiciness and softness of your core.
"How do you pretend to touch her without knowing her?" The woman asked. "You ignore many things, babe."
Your cheeks burned with embarrassment since you had your first kiss of the evening, but you promised not to let shyness win you over this time. It was the third night and the third time you tried, the last two having ended with a sudden lock-in in the bathroom or tears of shame and frustration running down your cheeks.
"I can't. I swear I can't." You cried as Sevika kissed your wet cheeks.
"Of course you can, don't be like that with yourself."
You considered that Sevika could be your mentor in this unknown field for you, the guide that would allow you to understand sex as something more than a mere routine or necessary act. "To begin with, doll, we don't intend to have a child with this. Not even if we wanted to. Second, I've seen as many pussies in my life as I've smoked cigarettes and yours is undoubtedly beautiful."
You laughed to hide your shame, but Sevika meant it. She was decades ahead of you in sexual experiences, she knew the female anatomy in depth, taking the time to explore herself first. Sevika knew that no one could teach her how to have an orgasm, and she fondly remembers the first times she tried self pleasure in the silence of her room, picturing that pretty girl at the market who used to sell her peaches at a good price. It was another Zaun, more precarious, less saturated with pornography and violence, and certainly her brain needed little to start imagining. And the softness of the girl's breasts under her blouse, her long neck and olive eyes were more than enough to awaken that visceral desire in her.
She dedicated her first orgasm to that girl and her peach scent. It was in a way tender, but the starting point of an endless journey through the unexplored region of sexuality. She soon discovered that inserting a finger was pleasant, that if she moved it in a certain way, it was even more so. She discovered that her breasts were sensitive if touched properly, that her entire skin was a map of erogenous zones and tickles, that rubbing her pussy against the pillow was delicious, and that after an orgasm she slept better. And soon, as soon as she was over five foot seven and learned to smoke without coughing, Sevika discovered that touching herself tasted better if someone she liked did it for her.
"Slow." Sevika whispered, placing a kiss on your shoulder. "Look at yourself. What do you see?"
"My pussy." You whispered, barely giving your reflection time to look back at you.
"You say it like it's a bad thing."
"It's not bad it's…"
"Strange?"
"I don't usually look at my pussy, Sev." You groaned.
"You should, it's pretty." Sevika laughed, caressing your waist with her metal fingers. "Think of all the men who have been staring at their cocks for as long as they've been conscious of them hanging between their legs, do you think they feel ashamed?"
You hesitated. "No?"
"There are two things a man always believes to be true." Sevika said, her tone lighter. "That they have the fattest cock on the block and that they can duel a bear without weapons, and win."
You laughed, your legs shaking slightly. Sevika smiled back. "If only you had the confidence they have in themselves, doll. It would be all so different."
Your expression sobered, this time giving the gap between your legs a longer look, that much neglected organ that deserved just a little more recognition in your life and in the lives of many other women.
"Look at the labia majora, the shape of it, the length of it…" Sevika whispered. "It frames the labia minora, the ones closest to the entrance."
You'd seen them in some anatomy book at the library, but recognizing them on yourself was quite different.
"I should have shaved more." You groaned in frustration.
Sevika snorted. "Are you saying that because of you or me? Cause lemme tell you, a hairy pussy doesn't grosses me out. On the contrary."
"But it does to me."
"Mine repels you?" Sevika inquired, leaving you speechless for a moment.
"No…" you whispered. "Yours… it's yours."
"I see. Now think the same about yours, sweetie." Sevika said. "Yours is what it is and that's it. Don't you dare apologize for how your body looks. Do I apologize for not having an arm?"
And you fell silent once more. Sevika sighed, kissing your neck. “You get my point.”
Sevika reveled in your body, in your flushed cheeks and focused eyes. She loved seeing you present. “You’re already wet.” She whispered. “But it can get wetter. Take two fingers.”
Sevika brought you index and middle fingers parted to the sides of your entrance, urging you to press. “Massage, slow.” She whispered, showing you the movement.
You obeyed, following the motion timidly at first, until you soon understood the purpose. That movement, however subtle, opened a pent-up dam that began to make you wetter and wetter. You moaned, feeling the urge to touch the rest but Sevika held your wrist. “Start from edges.” She said. “Don’t rush it.”
It was one of your vices, quick, silent masturbation. With your legs closed, a hand on your mouth and your eyes closed tightly, as if you were committing a crime that you wanted to finish soon. They were fleeting moments of pleasure that later turned into disconnection with yourself.
But Sevika knew you deserved better than that.
With your index finger you traced circles on your labia majora, slowly while Sevika whispered in your ear, kissed it and bit your lobe, making you shudder subtly. It was a constant and gentle movement, with no other purpose than to explore yourself.
"Come closer to the center." Sevika whispered. "Apply pressure, rub a little."
Your eyelids fluttered at that tickling between your legs, the sticky and wet murmur of your folds that made Sevika moan softly and her breathing accelerate, her breasts pressing against your back. Your hips moved unconsciously, you looked at your hand through the mirror, delicately between your legs with the elegance of an erotic painting.
"You're so pretty." Sevika gasped. "Look how your cheeks blush."
"Yours too."
Sevika smiled. "It just turns me on like you can't imagine seeing you touching yourself."
Sevika was known to be an avid spectator. More than once she would abstain from participating and sit on the couch in the brothel with a cigarette between her teeth, asking her girl to give her a show. There was something about watching such an intimate ritual that stirred every nerve fiber in her. Watching them unfold before her, rubbing themselves the way they liked, moaning genuinely, shuddering, whimpering and sighing, being able to see how their own hand is able to take them on a roller coaster of sensations. That ritual held a power that Sevika was fascinated to behold, and tonight you were her apprentice and her muse.
Sevika squeezed your breast, playing with your hardened, sensitive nipple. She already wanted to taste them, but she had to be patient. The appetizer was your self-exploration, the dessert was her mouth between your legs.
"You know… when there's too much business to attend to." Sevika said, her grey eyes watching you. "I can't visit the girls, so I lay back on my bed with a cigarette between my lips…" she murmured. "And I squeeze my breasts. Over and over, I touch them… massage them… while thinking of old encounters, of sounds… smells. You know how I love smells."
"All of them." You whimpered.
"Yes… from the armpits to the neck, between a couple of breasts and a wet pussy." Sevika sucked in between her teeth. "All of them."
You remember how Sevika had taken to sniffing you the first time she had you. She inhaled the scent of your neck and the crook of your elbows, behind your knees and your armpits. It was a scent loaded with codes, codes that communicated intentions. The pheromones were the best card to attract the most finicky organ of the human body; the nose.
"Sev." You whimpered. "Can you…?"
"That would be the shortcut, so no. I won't touch you yet."
You groaned, tilting your head back as Sevika placed a kiss on the top of your head. "Patience." Sevika drew your hand to the shy hood at the top of your pussy. "Pamper her, that's what it's for."
You traced circles around it, letting out a gasp. Sevika kept her hand on your wrist, indicating the methodical and steady pace, drawing sweet moans from you. "I'm wet just by looking at you." She whispered.
You bit your lip, the urge to grind harder and harder. An orgasm was building inside you, steady and certain, as Sevika kissed your neck and motioned for you to quicken your pace. "Ah, fuck…"
"Moan better." Sevika said. "You can be as loud as you want here."
You whimpered, your hips seeking more contact as you moved and you rubbed against your hand. Sevika pressed her fingers against you, urging you on. "Keep going… don't rush."
"Ah, Sev."
"You like it? It's better when you don' try to cum in two minutes."
You hurried your hand, but Sevika held you back. This wasn't a race and you were certainly getting ahead of yourself. "Old habits die hard."
Her metal hand held your legs apart, her other hand ascending to your chin to make you look at yourself in the mirror again. “We’ll try again, okay?”
This part was the one you liked the least. It wasn’t just the pain, it was the accumulated frustration from past sessions with no results. Sevika told you it was all in your head, that you were just as deserving of this pleasure as others. But you still felt skeptical.
“Middle finger.” She whispered, bringing it to your entrance. “Just press, darling. Soften your entrance.”
You pressed your lips together, obeying her command even though you preferred to rub. You eased the tip of your finger, gently moving it in circles. “It already burns.” You whined.
“I know. We talked about sublimating pain, remember?” You nodded. “Your body is already relaxed, you’re wet. You need to focus on breathing.”
It seemed that when it came to penetration, your body locked up. It was an overwhelming burn, a wall of fire if you will, closing in around your fingers and keeping you from entering. Sevika had tried this in the past, drawing whimpers from you that would never stop causing her guilt. This time, however, it was about allowing yourself to do it.
"I don't like it, Sev."
"You don't like it because you're predisposed to suffer." she insisted. "I know you can, babygirl."
You looked at Sevika through the mirror, her grey eyes soothing you. "Breathe, deep. One… two…" you inhaled, your hand between your legs, the wall of fire present. "Three. Exhale…"
You dared to venture deeper, your walls coupling to your finger as the burn quickened your breathing. "Shh." Sevika kissed your neck. "Breathe again."
One… two… three…
Exhale.
“Ah…” you moaned, inserting the last bit of your finger and feeling the latent but less painful tension. “Mhm.”
“Good girl, look at yourself.”
You opened your eyes, looking at yourself in the mirror. The palm of your hand rested against your clit, your finger inserted all the way in, like a new but unrejected intrusion. “Sev.”
“I told you you could, you're taking it whole.” Sevika smiled. "Can you move it?"
You barely curled your finger, but you recognized the rugous wall inside you. "Yes…" you moaned.
"Breath for me." continued Sevika, gently taking your wrist as she motioned you to curl your fingers once more. "One... two..."
"Mhm, Sev." you moaned, your eyes closing. "Fuck."
"Does it hurt?"
"The pressure." you managed to explain.
"You're tensing, baby. Relax..." Sevika let out a pant, kissing the side of your neck. "You're doing so good."
You endured and took a deep breath, curling your finger against the inner wall Sevika talked you about. You felt a tickle, barely diminishing due to an increasingly timid pain.
And Sevika seemed pleased. "You did good, baby. Rest."
You pulled your finger back when the pressure forced it, only for Sevika to cup your chin in her fingers and pull you in for a long kiss. "Well done." She said between kisses. "Fuck, you looked so beautiful."
Sevika showered you in kisses, from your mouth to your navel, repeating how proud she was of you. "You've crossed the threshold, gorgeous. You just need to practice."
You smiled, feeling the hint of a happy cry build up in your throat. But Sevika cheered you up with another kiss. "We'll try again tomorrow. Sooner than later I'll have you cumming in my fingers over and over again."
You chuckled, watching Sevika kiss your inner thigh. "It's rude to look at the food without eating it, y'know?" you teased her.
"How rude of me." she purred, her kisses coming closer to your wet and now dilated pussy. "You better moan properly, doll."
"All you want."
#arcane#arcane fanfic#arcane s2#arcane sevika#sevika arcane#sevika x reader#sevika x y/n#sevika x you#sevika#sevika my love#sevika smut#arcane smut
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Also, because Fire Emblem Fates has also been in my head, I gotta say, it’s kind of shitty to basically make it required to spend so much money if you want the full story
Like, for starters you’d have to buy one of the games, at full price if you were like me and bought them when they came out (I also thought they were exactly the same other than different units, so my 12 year old ass who hadn’t played a Fire Emblem game since I was 8 ended up getting Conquest because I liked Awakening and didn’t know it was supposed to be the tougher game for more experienced players)
It also gives you a choice in game which family you go with, but you can’t actually choose because it’s dependent on which game you got. Makes it seem like they really shouldn’t have had the choice in the game to begin with, just have it start out one way or the other or make the choice for us
Anyways, if you actually want to make that choice in game or just see what the other side would offer, or you just would rather side with the other family, you’d have to either buy the other game for the exact same price, or buy it digitally, which you can no longer legally do
And on top of that, there’s Revelation, which I’m told is the true storyline of Fates, which you could only get by buying it in the eShop, which again, is no longer available
So not only can you not experience everything Fates has to offer without paying twice to three times the amount of a normal game (I don’t know how much Revelation cost), but if you wanted to play the game for the first time now, it’s literally impossible to play it fully without pirating
I really don’t know why they did this. Did they just not have enough space on the cartridge to do all three options, or was this a matter of money?
#it’s all weird#maybe I should go back and play Conquest sometime#but I don’t know#I think I like the characters in Awakening better#but yeah why did they do this?#fire emblem#fire emblem fates#random stuff
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FE Secret Santa (10/10)
Robin(male) for @silversongmsp
My final submission of the year for the @feshippingpolls secret santa event
#fanart#myart#fire emblem#okay checking some things off tag wise just in case#tw gore#tw body horror#tw horror#tw mutilation#tw eye imagery#let me know if theres any i missed and i'll try to add them <:>#or in other words#ask to tag#fe robin#ah the final secret santa i have to make for this year#honestly was expecting the whole thing to go longer for me#not that im complaining it gives me time to finish up my assignments#(although i do find it a lil funni that im prob the reason next time is gonna have a limit of five submissions per person)#i think this one im gonna ramble a bit more then the other ones#because awakening was my first fire emblem game and i have a lot of feelings about it#hell got a lot of feelings about robin as a character too#like dude is really fitting for the story of awakening#destined to destroy the world and be the death of all he loves#really one put in the situation and having knowledge of what you're supposed to be-#-how are you supposed to live if you know it won't last?#is it better to become numb to it all so you won't be heartbroken?#or let yourself have a bleeding heart knowing there isn't anything you can do about it?#defying destiny has always been a trope i love especially in the context of un-dooming the narrative#yes the future was saved but so was somebody destined to destroy it#i just think that's really cool#and whether you view the relationship between Chrom and Robin as romantic or platonic or any other option
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guys I might be discovering something lately--
#I MEAN LMAO I've always been clinging more to males but then I started to think more abt Claudia and uuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh#and there's the demi thing bc idk I need to know better the character to start feeling sumthin like lmaoooooo I've met Claudia for a while#but i took a bit more to realize the gay shit bc my family prob planted sum denial inside my head WHICH I'VE BEEN FINNA GETTING FREE OF IT#LIKE... she fucking awakened my gay side heLP#there's also my genderfluid thing like sometimes I might get into feeling myself as male and liking males which is also very gay so like#very double gay IDK#ANYWAY I'M HAPPY I'VE BEEN DISCOVERING A BIT MORE ABOUT MYSELF#It was just a matter of time of me getting finna away from my mostly conservative family that I stopped denying my true self like#SINCE I WAS A KID I remember saying I was a boy in the body of a girl or something#AAND I used to ALSO compliment an specific girl the same way I compliment boys. in a... kid having a crush way y'kno#I also used to find some girls very pretty like#my inner child knew the gay shit; thank god amen#best thing I've done was getting out of that old house. life gud#not sorry for the text wall deal with it#random#shitpost#silent hill#silent hill 3#vincent smith#claudia wolf#lgbtq#demisexual#demibisexual
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alright new totk headcanon: ganondorf did try to put gloom everywhere when he woke up as a mummy, but rauru is actually the one who caused the upheaval to put every single chance behind link in his fight against ganondorf
#totk#rauru#ganondorf#link#look rauru is skeevy!!! he is a manipulative bitch!!! he would absolutely do shit like this and not tell you!!!#all the ruins have zonai elements in it and bear zonai technology!!!#he was torn from ganondorf as much as ganondorf was torn from him!!#and ganondorf actively tries to stop link from accessing certain sensitive informations contained in zonai ruins#not to mention the shrines#who are just there as military training/purification devices against demons/ganondorf#he would have all the motive in the world --while ganon doesn't why would he do that#but here it's like an unstoppable force meet immovable object sort of deal --and then something separates the two#that's got to be messy#(I know the reality is: they didn't think about character motives like ganondorf uses a false zelda to lead you to the secret stones)#(to awaken the sages that will eventually fight him like girl what are you doing!!!!!)#(but in a better game.....)
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ive probably talked about it before but there is obviously an inherent tragedy when it comes to the awakening second gen that is present in all of their characters, but some of them are definitely more comic relief-y than others? which is fine but i think the funniest thing ever is the devs making inigo fire emblem almost entirely a gimmick haha funny character (with like. TWO exceptions in his supports and those two exceptions are literally just his parents) and then realizing “hey people kinda like this guy. lets switch it up a bit for the dlc” and then made like. the best character in the world. like who knew all people needed to enjoy the womanizer trope was to drop him in situations where flirting was no longer an option. then come fates hes like a whole different guy (in a good way!) which, yes you can chalk up to him growing up, but theres a clear difference in how he was written and how selena and odin were written in the same guy and you can just see how the writers were like “holy shit we struck gold with this one” like its crazy hes crazy hes my favorite guy in the world. AND HES STILL FUNNY
#freudian slips#sorry thinking about him (when am i not)#needed to talk about much i love him and also how laslow is like the best thing that couldve ever happened#like i talk more about inigo in awakening i think bc i just love the second gen and well. he fits into that context#but laslow is just everything inigo was and better its actually insane#biased maybe bc fates was my first game but i dunno i think the jump in quality is really insane#he literally has like. one bad support in that game#which yes is saying something bc that is the game with the biggest cast and thus biggest support list in the series#intsys bring him back you wanna bring him back soooo bad it makes you look stupid#whatever. i miss him. what happens to a girl when she hasnt opened citra emulator in a while#I KNOW INIGODEV IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. IF YOU HEAR ME im literally using my tag thats blacklisted lmao#but still. they have to know how good he is. hes like one of the only feh characters to get the amount of spotlight that he has and not be#horribly mischaracterized. in fact i think feh has only done him favors which#cannot be said for a lot of the characters!#leo. lyn. rest in peace.
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I really love the idea of Buck being the one who's been secretly in love with Eddie the whole time. Because when it comes to Eddie, he doesn't really seem to give much thought to dating until someone pushes him to it?? But Buck always seems to be thinking about how to be a better person (choosing to go to therapy, being open about what he wants in a relationship and such). So in my head, between the two, Buck is the one more likely to figure it out first before Eddie. And he's just sweet enough to think Eddie might not want this so he supports Eddie dating others and even dates people himself (thinking that this thing with Eddie will never happen so why not). It's like, he's pining but not in a "i will stay miserable about it" way??? Does that make sense?? Buck's just the kind of person who is like 'you might not love me but i will steal the moon for you, i will fight the world for you, i will bring you all the stars in the universe'.
Eddie is the kind if person who needs to be told "hey have you ever thought about dating buck? how he checks all your boxes? how you're both raising a child together and have each other's backs and are comfortable with each other?" and it makes him go OH, i never thought about that. And then he starts seeing Buck in a whole different way you know. Like, here's the person Chris likes, who will protect Chris and takes care of him like his own, who knows his family, who will always come save Eddie no matter what, who's been there for Eddie's highs and absolute lows. Like, all the things Eddie worries about when finding a partner is something Buck already fulfills. So why not date Buck?? Why did he never think of this??
#buddie#oh wow what a ramble#idk#i think it's neat to think about how buck fell in love first#also asexual eddie is my baby#so this could tie in with that too#but even if it's not ace eddie#i feel like unless you tell him to look at buck as a boyfriend instead of a friend he'd be like I HAVE HAD AN AWAKENING#evan buckley#eddie diaz#i still also love the Eddie has been the one pining the whole time trope too#but this ties in a bit with their canon characters better in my head#but both is cool
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What if Awakening a Divine Knight makes you a little fucked up. What if piloting a portion of the divine changes you just a little bit. What if every moment spent inside a vessel of legend pushes you another millimeter off of Human.
#ink thinks#trails of cold steel#the legend of heroes#tbh this is a thought i've had for quite a while bc its just soooo fun to play around with#like mannn the awakeners having noticeably better senses. being just a bit faster and stronger etc etc#and then this Offness being compounded by things like being an Immortal or what have you#i love excuses to make characters a bit Freaky and I think if u earned ur way into getting a giant magic mech#u have earned the right to be a bit Weird and a bit Not Quite Mortal
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Fixed reference sheet also sorry for bad wing design 😭 I'm not good at making wings like I've used to jjsjsjdjsjjdjjjjdjss.
I'm probably thinking of redesigning my OC's reference sheet one by one and then maybe I can make a new character. His name is still Arach but I haven't put him yet in the ref. nor was he revealed yet....
#Oh yea btw#take note that scarlette's wings are hidden at the time#but they are rarely shown if she flies#idk just my thoughts ig??#Honestly Che0z is bad at flying imo bc he doesn't have wings or he is barely awakened in true form lol#don't get me wrong but I had this idea come to mind#if che0z actually did have a true form like Sonic or Shadow#then definitely he would be like a Super Saiyan#Not closely as much as for Dragon Ball Z#but also a better RNG that makes him look like a badass#sorry for my ramblings LMAO#I think I'm wasting tags because I somewhat hate to say goodbye to the dragon year#and snek year has arrived :sadge:#ANYWAYSSS#Please don't get confused with her hair being frozen at the time pls 😭#It doesn't matter tho#make her hair shine in Pantene Commercial or whatever you want to draw her#oc#y2k#character redesign#I did not like the necktie that much I'm so sorry 😭
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No thoughts… only edizzy la cage aux folles au
#their relationship in the movie version is just like edizzy fr to me#the codependency… the volitility at times but beneath that just them knowing eachother better than anyone else and still being in love#and it fits so well in my head too because most aus are about them owning a club anyway lmao#plot twist stede is the straight dad and like in the movie version he lowkey crushes on ed (who would be albert / albin) except its#(well… more like ‘straight’ dad)#actually for real and ed revealing he’s not a woman is his gay awakening lmfao#only thing I’m stuck on is the way that the plot requires the other parents to be homophobic but obviously stede & mary wouldn’t be#me talking#our flag means death#edizzy#izzy hands#ed teach#izzy ofmd#blackhands#it would be interesting to have izzy in the role of albin/albert too but I think he fits george/armand way more#also the jewish last name thing from the movie would be cool to incorporate since that’s a semi common hc already#ALSO !! IT HAS THE SAME THEMES / JOURNEY WITH THE MAIN CHARACTERS IMO#like ik obviously shamelessly being yourself is just a thing in almost every piece of queer media but yeah. it fits their issues well too#it would be interesting to explore izzy pushing ed to fit a certain role in this context and both of their issues with not being vulnerable-#/themselves fully and not feeling worthy of love#lmao rip to their kid tho. hope he can gain some good coping skills from stede and mary’s kid… ah wait they aren’t great at coping either#also izzy owning a gay/drag club is so val of him so I love it for that
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*Shakes you like a marionette* THANK YOU! You get it! I've been trying to tell people for -so long- that ARR (and post) is purposely taking its time to build up the characters, the story, the -entire world- that you're going to spend the next who-knows-how-many-hours/days/weeks/months exploring and adventuring and experiencing and -feeling- through! It might not be "the best paced", but god damn it if I still don't love all the random asides and non-plot moments that just -shapes everything-
(BANGS GAVEL)
LET THEM COOK!!!
#to be clear this is not to say a bunch of story decisions and pacing issues were Fine Actually And Perfect#of course not! the feast while Titan is definitely awakening was odd pacing. the sylphs took way too much long back and forth. f’lhammin;;;#HOWEVER!!!! I am of the opinion that you should play through all of that ANYWAYS#because the things they do and tell you and sneak characterization into within the bits that could have used work are still valuable !#because CRUCIALLY because because — it has Payoff#you are there for reasons. some big some long-term some unnecessary but kinda fun#dark road I think… had less of an effect on me because it didnt have good payoff. I would forgive the messy pacing and uneven attention#to characters they want us to get attached to much more if the end was also constructed better. the end was FUN! but-#look imagine if we’d been with baldr More? They were cooking and it was interesting but the payoff could have used different#(or more) buildup emotionally and attachment-wise. I love murder. it is shock value; not cast interest; that makes it fun#ask#anon#(pacing) I would have to craft an osp video on what constitutes media that does this meandering absurdity thing well and Less Well#MUCH easier to do in a video game where you are the main character! Everything can be relevant to your growth#like homestuck does it well EXCEPT when it doesn’t. most of problem sleuth is easily forgotten#anyways. cuts myself off of essayifying my opinion#that’s enough of that you and me are amiably shaking hands anon
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I swear I think I said this somewhere but I'll say it again lmao i think the highlight of my selfshipping self this year was that i really did come to adore my familials and how fun it is to come up with ideas for them. they're a special brand of being comfort character and it's honestly because of me reading pok.espe that made me come to appreciate family bonds
this is corny as hell sorry
#if you think about it. my romantics hasnt changed one bit but my familial list kept piling up this year its so silly but cute#its probably because im riding high on the pokepasta perdition hype in general that's still keeping my brain active for coming up with#rhys and carmine lore. but i don't want to make too much since i feel like there's still room for me to know what happened to carmine#idk but still i just think hes neat :]]]#i like to think this shit started when i saw the swsh camping video with togepi and awakened the inner mom mode in me i never knew i had#~ rambling#and also because of how nero and bee are just as passionate as me about the silly dexholder kids with so much character development hehe#pokespe is just such a great story and you can add so much more ideas and it makes it all the more better#like the whole “jaide and steven are ruby's biological parents” feels just right idk KSKSKAJSJA
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im rereading asunder and keep having to remind myself that all these characters have french accents fml
#well. most not all. but yknow#personal#da#im only skimming tbf im working on something that has me going through Everything#hopefully i can get through it all in one go. hopefully before the stream in less than 5 hrs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#im not that excited for it actually. im keen for the dav announcement and that's it. it had better be near the start#anyway. i rewatched redemption yesterday and idk why i had in my mind that it sucked#like it's not *good* but it wasnt as bad as id made it out to be since first watching it. it's just kinda *ok*#but it was a relief after spending the last week reading through talktables. god almighty im glad im done with that#i think when i get up to dai im gonna go through it in frosty#it's gonna take probably 2-3x as long as if i read the talktable. maybe even longer. but i wont lose my mind quite so much#weirdly the dao and dai talktables are about the same length (all dlc included for both) which always really surprises me#but i didnt read the full dao talktable. only for the dlc (and awakening was a CHORE). i read everything in the toolset#and i was able to do most of da2 using those spreadsheets i made of plots and conversations a few months ago. i knew those'd come in handy#the only time ive ever been glad da2 doesnt have item descriptions#ANYWAY. back to asunder. the start is interesting but rhys goes through like. anti-character development and i hate him by the end#obv that's still character development. i just really prefer when a character becomes better or at least doesnt become frustrating to read
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in which i reveal my highly controversial opinions (i like caliborn more than calliope and i don't have any strong feelings about vriska)
also, surprise! i fucking love dirk. that didn't stop being a thing or anything
#mine#fuck i want ult dirk so bad#there is something wrong in my brain#i think when i circled back around to thinking slurs are funny it awakened the part of me that could enjoy caliborn in a fucked up way#and i jusf never cared abt callie that much Sory#i think it's extremely funny that idgaf abt vriska#she's like ”LOOK AT ME!! ARGUE ABOUT ME!!!! I AM THE MOST MORALLY AMBIGUOUS CHARACTER OF ALL TIME” and i'm like ok. cool story bro#oh yeah with the slur thing i mean slurs i uh. can reclaim for lack of a better term#not gonna get into my thots on slur discourse bc i don't have a death wish💜#but i think it's funny to say the f slur every once in a while. a healthy hobby#wow i need to stfu
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ok ive finished the dlc so now i can properly say my least favourite thing about dragon age awakening is that the women feel like an afterthought & don't fit in the group at all. & i want to care about them & their banter so much. but i really don't because the game is giving me fucking nothing
#dragonageposting#IM SO FUCKING UPSET ABOUT THIS. i was thinking abt it so hard last night.#(crying) please join my polycule why wont you fit in my polycule videogame why didnt you let the women fit in my polycule#it doesnt help that anders & oghren's banter w them is insufferable. especially oghren#sigrun is SUCH a sweetheart & i adore her i really do but her & velanna are just so... lacking compared to everyone else#& it's by design! & i fucking hate that it is!#did i fuck up something? did i miss quests that would've made them better? even then i don't know if it would fix the issue#with oghren you already know him beforehand hes got a whole plotline & everything in origins so its like. it fits within the plot#anders shows up at the centre of the main plotline. at the start too. he integrates himself as part of the group very easily bc of that#nathaniel also has very good reason to be there! you killed his father! he hates your guts but hes not a bad person! he has depth!#he is given the opportunity to fit in a group whose leader he comes in loathing#justice would be part of the 'you're making it hard for me to care abt this character' group if i didnt know abt him showing up in da2 prob#but even then his quest just. felt longer. he was given more to do than both velanna & sigrun#not only that but hes a spirit possessing a corpse which makes his deal very unique#i was elated to meet sigrun bc i love the legion of the dead but they just. didn't give her much.#& the whole thing w velanna wrt seranni is like;.. barely touched on. i was so disappointed the quest was so short#the women are just given nothing compared to the men & i fucking hate it i wanna care about them so bad. i want to care. so bad.#they didnt even allow me to have either of them do their joining like??? what?? it mightve been a glitched thing or w/e but??#i was just forced into the climax of the game without either of them doing their joining. and it fucking sucked#idk the later parts of awakening feel rushed. like they didnt plan to actually wrap it up & had to do it hastily.#the beginning was so interesting & i was genuinely having such a good time but by the end of it i was just tired#we barely got anything on the architect i was also hyped for him but then it was kind of nothing.
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i need more non three houses side characters winning cyl tbh bc the lord outfits are so predictable and boring and for three houses all they do is the normal timeskip shit. like, felix and bernadetta’s art looks great, but the designs… come on. weve all seen mortal savant felix. thats literally just bernadetta’s timeskip outfit with added shoulder stuff. bring back queen camilla of nohr. they did something fun with marianne that one time until everyone was like “boo wah i hate creativity and serving cunt” but they need to not listen to the haters. when tharja wins in three years (if we dont hit eos) i want her cosplaying as grima or something like the lizard version
#ann cries about feh#also like. idk#PERSONALLY its very rare that the main lords are my favorite character in any game#sole exception being ss bc eirika and ephraim RAISED ME#but still#anyways most of this was fueled by me thinking about a hypothetical brave inigo#it will never happen bc any chance of him winning was curbstomped by him being a bad unit#except that one year but then someone overshot his unit viability and he became a meme for a bit so#whatever anyways#if he DID win hypothetically the worst thing they could ever do is give him his hero armor and nothing else#not only is the awakening hero armor kind of ugly itd j make me sad#i want him to wear traditional ferox garb#‘what does that even look like’ i have no clue. but they can make it up!!!#or. get this. they mix aesthetics from awakening and nohr and give him a sick combo outfit#and hes like ‘haha yes i go by two names and i love them both. haha do girls like me yet’#like do u see my vision#and then he gets a prf dance bc if marianne can get a dance special he can get a prf dance.#this is all just me daydreaming about my favorite guy in pretty outfits really#he could also wear basilio’s clothes#but i think a basilio outfit variant would go WAYYY harder on brave olivia#who we will also never get. but i think she has a better shot? brave olivia for next year u guys?? huh???#i should check their cyl placements actually but i feel like feh has actually made her more popular?#or intsys just thinks she is. but she keeps getting alts and she was in warriors sooo
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